Coolidge Library, Coolidge, GA

He Had Nothing to Go On - The Case of the Missing Toilet

By the young writers at the Coolidge, GA library

"Go check your toilet before somebody steals it."

This is Umm the Alien's advice to everyone after his toilet went missing. Umm was a HUGE alien with 14 eyes. When we say he was huge, we mean it. Umm was bigger than the planet Earth!

Of all the many things he had gathered in his short life so far (he was only a boy!) his favorite was his toilet. He loved it so much, he stored his underwear nearby.

For reasons that are still unclear, Albert, a pinkish boy alien with 106,000 eyes, walked into Umm's home armed with a laser gun. He used the laser to cut the toilet off the floor, hoisted it onto his shoulder and trotted away.

Of course Umm was upset that his toilet was missing. The police said there were almost no clues, so there was nothing to go on! The police called in a new detective named Tessa, a green alien with 13 eyes (the inhabitants of this planet had LOTS of eyes!) and put her on the case.

With some clever detective work, Tessa deduced that Albert was the thief, and when she went to his home, she found the toilet hidden in his basement. Albert went to jail, and Umm was, according to one report, relieved.

The End

(Editor's note: After this story was written, one mom said that she was going to limit her son's access to the Captain Underpants series. He contributed greatly to some of the key elements of this piece. She felt that CU's humor may have influenced this story.)

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